Thursday, June 13, 2013

Screw the Photon II !!

Those who have tried to master the art
Of taking this tiny flashlight apart
Will know what I mean when I growl and say,
I should have just thrown it away.

Tiny parts scattered across the table,
It’s a challenge to me to see if I’m able
To put them all back together again –
I hope I will, but I don’t know when.

They’re in a box now, hidden away,
Awaiting the light of a sunnier day.
Without better light and a magnifying glass,
This is a test I never will pass.

I need a new keychain LED.
Can anyone suggest a good one for me?
I’ve bought my last Photon, and that’s a fact,
Until they get together their act,
And find a way to replace the power
Without causing the replacer to glower.

There was a time, with fingers more nimble,
I could handle this chore,
Now each finger feels like a thumb with a thimble,
And I just can’t do tiny parts anymore.
I’ll go for AA, AAA, AAAA, or N,
But I don’t think I’ll want tiny buttons again.
Eric Blair

Go cat, go,
but what do I know,
except that the ASP
works perfectly for me

You see, the Photon crowd
cries out loud
and sings the praises,
ease of battery changes,
but if my ASP shoots craps
I'll just send it back
and they'll replace the battery
entirely for free,
so you see what I mean
when I tout the ASP?

Esav Benyamin

The ASP is a dandy light to squeeze,
And dangle from my keys.
But I need a light
For shining bright
For many more hours, please.

I need a flash
That will cost little cash,
But continue to brighten my path.

The batteries I'd like to switch,
Without the thought of an awful glitch,
Which would rouse my soul to righteous wrath!

But thanks for the clue,
And I know that I'll do
As you suggest;
If it's not the best,
At least I can use a few.

Size 15s

Without pretending that I can rhyme,
Please read my words if you've got the time.
If Photon II's screws are too hard to bare,
A widely known secret I'd like to share;
One more "I" me thinks is the key,
'cos there ain't no screws in a Photon III.

As for belonging to the Photon Crowd,
I'll admit as much, and say I'm proud.
The Photon II's got a lot of fans;
With nimble fingers and steady hands.
A suggestion though for an easier Photon life,
Get a girlfriend, mistress or even a wife.

Eric Blair

I've got a wife
and I've got a life
and even a light
that's shining bright
but my light for use in emergencies
is not my trusty ASP
'cause the light I use in which to see
is my bright white SureFire 6Z
65 lumens light my night
with Glock 23 it guides my sight
and this light is right, made for fight,
unlike the light of my ASP
which is rightly made for finding keys
like a Photon, but with a guarantee,
and should you toast the battery
ASP will replace it for free!
Photon shmoton, or so I say,
not much of a light and too much pay
In this same league is the ASP
and ASP is just right for me.

Dr. Seuss is on the loose
in the forums fighting boredom.
June 18, 2001

1 comment:

Nellmezzo said...

Hello old friend.

I've read so much of your poetry that I finally wrote one of my own that sounded like you!

Yes the stars are out tonight, but not as many as I remember.

It's dark here, but everywhere there are signs

of industry, and tonight

I'd rather see more stars and less of my neighbors.

The nearest neighbors cause no objection --

turning lights out when they shut up the barn,

and their yard lights, sensibly dim.

Big enterprises are afraid though it seems,

spilling illumination to prevent hypothetical crime.

I saw light spill out of pubs in Ireland one time;

it greeted the night with a promise of music and laughter;

I should have stayed.

Security lights push me across the parking lot here;

I think they bend me over: "Hurry, before you're way-laid!

And don't look up, where you won't see the stars!"